Surviving (and thriving) in India with a child in tow

Guest writer: Sinéad Ní Bhriain
(Words and images copyright 2014)

In 2008 I first ventured to India with my son Michael who was six years old. Since then we have returned regularly and stayed for up to six months at a time. Travelling on a low budget, we learned a lot very quickly. Every day in India is a new story and when you have children on board, it's all the more intense.

I remember that initial landing in Delhi like it was yesterday. The trip from the airport alone is wild. A world you’ve never imagined flashes in front of your eyes as you are thrown into it at the mercy of your driver. Most atheists will probably convert to vocal theism right about this time. A few weeks from now even the most hard headed will be praying to an elephant they’re on first name terms with.

There was a sky of electrical cables and uneven streets of rubbish, homeless dogs, rats and cow dung. The traffic noise rises around you in a wall of sound while blazes of colour come from all directions. The lady’s saris, cycle rickshaws, street vendors, chai stalls, fruit markets and seas of commercial signs cover every available space in fifty shades of bedlam.

 If, at this crucial point, you can exhale and trust the journey, you’re doing yourself a favour. If it takes a little longer don’t worry. Get yourself to a café, have a time out and maybe your kids will help you  ‘find the funny‘.

You and your children are somewhat equals here, mere babes in a new world. It’s a great experience to hold hands and realise that apart from all the other things in your relationship, you’re travel buddies now too. You will have to put up with each other’s moods in a place certain to frustrate you as much as it will entertain and thrill you. 

There will probably be upset tummies along the way and the odd panic attack at the toilet facilities on offer. You’ll have to find the food they like and learn to argue about money. 

On the upside you’ll be caught unawares by human kindness, bright smiles, a flowering tree, a sweet mango at sunset, a new friend laughing with you about your crazy experience that day, a friendly cow, the monkey show that never ends and the gentle swirling around you of incense and flower garlands while temple bells call out across a sacred river.

There is the added element of learning the ropes of this remarkable country. After our baby steps in the first weeks we noticed we were learning a whole new range of skills, everything from jumping onto moving vehicles to getting bananas at local prices. My son took tremendous pride in his pidgin Hindi. He loved when locals began to know his name, “Good morning Michael” ringing out along Varanasi’s Bengali Tola. 

He began to copy the macho strut of the young teenage boys who took him flying kites on rooftops. He learned how to make footballs from tightly bound plastic bags up in Nagaland and used to run errands for our landlady, buying her pan (chewing leaves) from the local wallah like he’d lived there all his life. I saw him glow with pride at these small achievements and the acceptance he felt so far from home.

On reflection I’ve noticed that Michael and I have never said “remember that day we saw the Taj Mahal!” It was indeed amazing, but the memories are made of something else. 

What brings the Indian magic to mind is flashbacks of the call to prayer during sunset in Rajasthan, a bright red sari against a cornfield seen from the train, and the funny goat in the bathroom. There was also the goat on a motorbike in Calcutta which still makes me laugh every time I picture it, something about its facial expression as they sped past me!

Foremost in our recollections are the people we met, the food we grew to love and the semi-ridiculous, semi-hilarious little adventures that filled any given day.

If you have decided to take this incredible trip and share it with your little ones there are plenty of guide books to help you with your particulars so I will simply share some points of advice from the trail, parent to parent.

• I would place having a good time above any schedule in India and be ultra-flexible with my itinerary. If the kids make friends in a place, give them that extra time to enjoy it. Make the stay as long as you can and give yourselves time without pressure to just ‘be‘ there.
• Don’t worry because you are never on your own, there are a lot of people around all the time. My son and I came through some tribulations over five separate trips (loss of bank card etc.) and there was always someone there to help. Indian people love to get in your business and while that may annoy you one day, it will be a blessing the next.
• Try the street food; they are masters of their craft. It is healthier than a lot of restaurant kitchens. The high turnover and high temperatures keeps the oil cleaner than whatever might be hiding at the back of some just-for-tourists place.
• Be assertive with the locals who want pictures taken with your children, or who are pestering you in any way. You can feel if the situation becomes too pushy and uncomfortable and simply walk away. However try not to get angry because it won’t make the slightest difference.
• Children are allowed to be children in India. People are super tolerant and understanding of boisterous games. Indians love to see your kids free and enjoying their world. They will go out of their way to be accommodating for the most part, so let loose a little.
• Remember that whatever inconveniences you’re experiencing are faced daily by locals, all their lives. This can help us check our western expectations and simply let go. A good lesson for us and our kiddies alike.
• You are bound to meet the most interesting of people in your fellow travellers. You will share stories, ideas, train journeys, books, the odd Imodium… enjoy being part of each other’s trip. Help out when you can and let others help you; including letting them entertain your kids and give you a rest when you need it.
• If there are gatherings in the evenings, like live music around a campfire, don’t hesitate to take your children along. Let them see the scope socialising can have rather than that of our limited ‘night life’. 

Michael and I often listen to music or something that brings us back there instantly. The shared memories are a huge bond between us and not just that those events occurred but how they changed us inside as people. I feel that taking the not inconsiderable time, money and effort to show your children India rewards itself way into the future.

For whatever inconveniences the trip brings, ranging from mosquito bites to never-want-to-see-rice-again disease; it will educate your whole family.

As a westerner maybe you’re seeing the reality of this planet from outside our bubble for the first time. Some of the sights you see may be very upsetting for children, but they’ll recover and they’ll be more conscious human beings because of it. I intend to be back there with my trusted travel companion very soon.

 Sinéad is a freelance writer (check out her blog), currently based in Ireland, but India is calling in the hazy distance...